To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love. To know how to love someone, we have to understand them. To understand, we need to listen.
When you love someone, you should have the capacity to bring relief and help him to suffer less. This is an art. If you don’t understand the roots of his suffering, you can’t help, just as a doctor can’t help heal your illness if she doesn’t know the cause. You need to understand the cause of your loved one’s suffering in order to help bring relief.
The more you understand, the more you love; the more you love, the more you understand. They are two sides of one reality. The mind of love and the mind of understanding are the same.
I feel so stupid sometimes because I fantasize too much about the people I like; I invent stories with them, I imagine entire days with them and how nice the future will be with pictures and letters and other tender things that makes a lot of sense in my mind. then the reality turn to be so much different and meaner and maybe the reason why it’s so difficult for me to accept it and letting people go it’s because I just want my future to be happy. in all my stories and castles I build inside of my mind, sadness just does not exist
Your first love gets you raw and open and naive and strong. Your first love gets the secrets that you never even knew you were meant to keep buried away. Your first love teaches you that love isn’t about reckless kissing and hands all over the place, that it’s actually about learning and understanding and compromise and feeling so happy you might explode.
Your first love takes you to the mountain tops and the stars there are more spectacular than any you’ve ever seen. Your first love sits with you until your head finds a home in the crevice between their neck and shoulder and you want to stay, more than anything, you want to stay.
Your first love laughs at your jokes and suddenly you are the world’s greatest comedian, it doesn’t matter that no one ever found you funny before, it doesn’t matter than tomorrow you still have to face the world. Your first love is like a safe, where you hide the treasures most precious to you because you think they’ll be around forever.
Your first love teaches you loneliness, teaches you about endings and goodbyes and emptiness. Your first love makes breaking an arm sound like a walk in the park. Your first love promises that they won’t forget and you believe them until you see them kissing someone else on the street that you used to meet.
Your first love makes you bitter.
And your second love makes that bitterness go away.
Someone with a social anxiety disorder will never get tired of hearing you say:
“I’m here for/with you”
“I like you”
“I love you”
“I value you as a person”
“Your opinions matter to me”
“I’ll go with you if it’s too scary”
“No matter what your anxiety tells you I’m not going anywhere”
“Your feelings are valid”Especially when they’re anxious
Especially when they’re anxious
Especially when they’re anxiousEven if you’ve already said it. Say it again. And again. Please.
Cause it may seem silly to someone without S.A.D., but it’s actually really reassuring to be reminded of having support even if we were just reminded last week, or last month, or yesterday. It’s important. Really important. Cause the anxiety will often lead us to feel alone, unloved, like the person might go away if we share our feelings, even when we know it’s not true. It’s a million times easier to be convinced by someone else than by our own anxious brains sometimes.This has been a PSA.
Also don’t get annoyed when they need the reinsurance. They do believe you but their mind tricks them that what you said isn’t true when they truly know it is, they just can’t control it.
(via abiding-in-peace)
Love her.
No. Don’t just tell her a thousand I love you’s everyday. Mean it. She is not always flawless. You see, There are days she will feel that she is the ugliest person in the world but tell her she is beautiful. No. Not once. Repeat it until she believe you.
On days that she feels fat, look at her like she is the sexiest woman alive. Fall in love with her everyday or whenever you have that moment to just… Fall for her. When she is sleeping or waiting for you in the coffee table. Or holding your hand while walking. Not just with her luscious kissable lips but also when it’s cracked and freezing. Fall in love with her messy hair in the morning and with her mood swings. Also with her unpredictable weirdness and humor.
Hug her. Yes. Hug her tight when she feels that no one is there for her. Don’t ever make her feel alone. And pick her up. When the world shatters her into million pieces. Be her fantasy and reality combined. Aid her. With your love and attention. Heal the bruises of her soul with the assurance that you are hers and nothing but hers. Kiss her when she is weak and hold her. Stand along with her. She might not always say it. But she needs someone to make her feel loved.
Be that someone.
Love her.
(Source: sandarafreedompark)
You weren’t right for me and you never will be. I fell for the wrong person and that makes me sad, but you were a huge life lesson that unfortunately, needed to happen. You weren’t enough for me. I need someone that validates me, that makes me feel safe. Someone that I can trust, someone that puts in effort, someone that wants everything that I do. Someone that will talk through their feelings and make it easy. I need someone that picks me up, that will do anything to keep me. I need a partner in life, not a warm body to fill the space. Someone that I don’t have a harsh history with. I need new, I don’t need you. I’m okay with that now. I wish you well, but please God do not call me in 6 months because I won’t be here to answer. Thank you for the life lessons, my future wife thanks you.
You never cared enough, you never earned my trust. You just took what you could get. You never lift me up, I never feel your love. I know exactly what this is. I’m tired of the weight when you lean on me. If I fell you would never stay to carry me